Something to Chew On

The pundicratic question of the week: “Has Obama bitten off more than he can chew?”

A more pertinent if rather unsanitary rephrasing comes to mind. Can We chew, what Obama has bitten off?

Clearly there’s going to be a lot of jaw numbing chewing going on. Someone has to do it but it’s not going to be That One. Look at the guy. He’s skinnier than Don Knotts. Not much chewing going on there. That’s not the way he rolls.

Anyway, Obama’s too smart to ever get stuck with the mundane policy chewing. He’s a biter. A big vision, go for broke, world-class, chomp monster. Health Care. Chomp. Global Warming. Chomp. Education. Chomp. Economic Reconstruction. Chomp, chomp, chomp. As Biter-Off-in-Chief, Obama may have no rivals.

It’s not that Obama eschews the chewing process itself. He’ll show up for a photo op and perform a little small bore governmental mastication, the same way he visits a homeless shelter and pretends to do a little painting or visits a factory and walks around wearing a hard hat and goggles, pointing at machinery.

The real problem is the sheer volume of chewing his agenda requires. We’re all going to have to belly up to the board and do our share. The whole Obama Nation is going to have to help choke down this hog.

So we need some catchy motivational slogans, like:

“Chaw We Can Believe In!”

“Yes We Chew!”

“Obama Bites so We Chew!”

“Ask Not What Your Country Can Chew for You. Ask What You Can Chew for Your Country.”

Please send your suggestions and they will be forwarded to The Chompster.